Networking without making it weird.

If the word "networking" makes you want to close every tab on your device and pretend you never read this, you're not alone. Most people hate it. 

Granted, the version of networking they were taught, the room full of name tags, lukewarm wine, and people handing each other business cards that nobody keeps, is genuinely awful.

The good news is that the in-person version of networking is also completely optional. And the even better news? The kind that actually gets you hired looks nothing like it. Here’s how we prep our clients to network like the baddies they are.

I'm an Introvert. Is Networking Actually Required?

Required? No. Recommended? Absolutely yes. Between 75 and 80% of jobs are filled through connections rather than cold applications. That stat isn't going away, and pretending the hidden job market doesn't exist won't help you access it.

What it does mean is that your job search strategy needs to include relationship building, not just submitting your resume to every job opening you can find.

The version of networking built for introverts looks like thoughtful one-on-one conversations, intentional LinkedIn outreach, and genuine curiosity about other people's work.

It does not look like forcing yourself into crowded rooms and performing extroversion until you need three days to recover. Introverts actually tend to be exceptional networkers because they listen well, ask good questions, and create the kind of conversations people actually remember.

The goal isn't to become someone you're not. It's to translate who you already are into new opportunities.

How Do I Reach Out to Someone I Don't Know on LinkedIn Without Sounding Desperate?

Lead with curiosity, not need. Yes, it’s that simple. The message that lands the way you want it to is the one that makes the other person feel seen, not the one that makes them feel like a steppingstone.

Before you write a single word, look at their profile. What have they worked on that's interesting to you? What about their career path is relevant to where you're trying to go? Reference something specific. Not "I love your profile" which tells them nothing, but "I noticed you made the move from operations into product management and I've been thinking about a similar transition. I'd love to hear more about how you navigated that if you're open to a quick conversation."

That message is specific, low pressure, and centers them rather than your needs. People respond to that. They don't respond to "I'm looking for new opportunities and would love to connect."

What Do I Even Say in a LinkedIn Connection Request?

Keep it short, sweet, and personal. You have a limited amount of characters to work with so every word needs to do something. A formula that works for our clients is who you are in one phrase + one specific reason you want to connect + one low ask. 

"Hi (name), I'm transitioning into operations from a customer service background and I've been following your work at (company). I’d love to connect and learn about your journey." 

That's it. No essay or pitch. Just a genuine, human reason for being in their inbox. What you want to avoid is the default connection request with no message at all, especially when you're reaching out cold. A blank request from someone they don't recognize is more likely to be completely ignored.

What Are Informational Interviews and How Do I Ask for One Without Wasting Someone's Time?

An informational interview (we like to call them coffee chats) is a short, focused conversation where you ask someone about their career path, their industry, or their company, not about job openings. Because, and I can’t make this any more clear, you're not asking them for a job. You're asking them to share what they know. People genuinely enjoy talking to other people in their industries so long as whoever is making the request is respectful of their time. Try this:

"Hi (name), I'm exploring a transition into (field) and your career path really resonated with me. If you have 15 to 30 minutes, I'd love to ask you a few questions about your experience and I’m happy to work around your schedule." 

Keep it short, specific, low commitment, and no pressure. When the conversation happens, come prepared with real questions about their journey, not generic questions they've answered a hundred times. And when it's over, send a thank you message the same day. Because people tend to remember the ones who follow through.

How Do I Reconnect With Old Colleagues I Haven't Spoken to in Years?

You just acknowledge the gap and move on from it without making it weird 😂 Most people overthink this because they're embarrassed about the time that’s passed, but the person on the other end probably hasn't thought about it at all. Try this:

"Hey (name), it's been way too long. I was thinking about you recently and wanted to reach out and reconnect. Hope things are going well on your end." 

You don't need to explain why you disappeared or apologize for the silence. If you do want to eventually ask for something, give the relationship a minute or two to breathe first. Reconnect, have a real conversation, then bring up what you're working toward. Jumping straight into "I'm job hunting. Can you help me" the moment someone responds is the thing that actually makes it awkward, not the gap itself.

How Do I Ask Someone for a Referral Without Making Things Awkward?

By making sure the relationship actually exists before you ask, love. A referral is a professional favor and people extend favors to people they trust. If you've had a genuine conversation with someone, if they know your background and believe in your abilities, then asking for a referral is a natural next step. If you've exchanged a single message on LinkedIn and then immediately ask them to put their name behind you, that's where things get uncomfy. But when you are ready to ask, be specific. 

"I'm applying for a (role) at (company). Would you be comfortable putting in a good word or connecting me with the right person?" 

Specific asks are easier to say yes or no to and they make the other person's job significantly easier. And if they say no? Thank them anyway and move on without making a big deal about it. People have their own professional reputations to protect. Their no is not a rejection of you as a person.

I've Been Networking But Nothing Has Come From It. Am I Talking to the Right People?

Maybe. Maybe not. Networking that doesn't produce results usually has one of three problems.

1. You're talking to people who can't actually help you get where you're going
   

2. You're having surface level conversations that don't go anywhere
   

3. You're treating networking like a shallow transaction and the people you’re connecting with can feel it.

   
   

Effective networking targets people who are doing the work you want to do, who work at companies you're targeting, or who are one or two degrees away from a decision maker in your field. Notice how I didn’t list recruiters? Yet that’s always who people target on LinkedIn. Also, if you're trying to break into tech and all your networking contacts are in your current industry, you're spinning your wheels for nothing.

Shift who you're talking to and make sure every conversation has a genuine point of connection. Because people don't refer strangers to roles, they refer people they'd feel good recommending to their boss, because every recommendation is a reflection on them. Your job in every networking conversation is to become the person they’d feel comfortable sending a referral link to.

Let's Wrap This Up

Networking is just relationship building with intention. That's it. The version that feels gross is the one where you're using people. Our version works because when you're genuinely curious, consistently generous, and strategic about who you're building relationships with networking becomes second nature, not another chore.

You don't have to be an extrovert, you don't have to go to events, and you definitely don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. You just have to show up with purpose and let the relationships you’re creating do what mutually beneficial relationships do over time. Grow.

If you're ready to build a job search strategy that includes all of this, come work with us. Over 5,000+ Black and brown women have used our framework to go from invisible to hired, and we built every piece of that framework with women like you in mind.

6 Figure Chick Consulting offers career coaching, resume optimization, LinkedIn profile enhancement, interview preparation, and career transformation programs for Black women and women of color across the United States.